makeup and poodles

So this weekend was my first wedding filled weekend of the month. Next weekend is an engagement party for my bestie Jillian, and then Nat's wedding the following weekend. But this weekend it was kicked off with Angie and her sister, Amanda. Yesterday we went to look at wedding dresses and saw some pretty hilarious dresses. The lady pulled this HUGE, super glittery princess dress for Angie, which is totally NOT her style. I was pumped for her to put it on because of course I was planning on taking pictures. Unfortunately the lady realized Angie would never in her right mind buy it and didn't let her put it on. Amanda and I were both sad. Mostly me though because I wanted a picture of her in that redonk dress.

Today we went to the Dior counter at Neiman Marcus to try out makeup ideas for the wedding. Below are some pictures. The lady putting on our makeup kept laughing at me when I looked at myself in the mirror. She kept saying that I was posing and thought it was funny the faces I was making. I don't think I was looking at myself any differently than normal, so now I'm wondering if I always pose when I look at myself in the mirror.

Please note the thinness of my hair in the picture above. Another reference for my last post.

While we were there this couple walked in with two full sized poodles. I mean, is that even allowed? I know those little purse sized dogs are ok. Definitely blind people's dogs are fine. But full sized poodles? Also you should know, one of the poodles had pictures on it! The second Angie and I saw it she turned to me and said, "Now that's what you need a picture of for your blog!" So I bet you know what I did after that. Correct, I followed these people around the store trying to take pictures with my phone. They were moving too fast so finally I walked over to them and started asking questions about their dogs and petting them, all the while taking pictures of them. The white one was called Winner, the other I can't remember so I'll call that one Loser. (He was plain brown. He didn't get any fun shavings and drawings like the other one.)

On closer inspection Winner had shamrocks shaved and painted on both sides. He also had a picture of a pig taking a bath with this woman's business name under it. I kept telling Angie it was called Pig Bath, but I don't think that's right. I mean, that is a TERRIBLE name for a company. But it has to be that because there was a picture of a pig taking a bath! She said they had a showing today with Winner. I'm not sure what that means, so don't ask.

I walked back over to Angie dying from all of this. Pig Bath, Winner, Loser. And then it happened. These dogs started to lose it! They were all calm and quite before I walked over and riled them up. They started whimpering and barking! In Neiman Marcus! Of course I would rile up full sized poodles walking around Neiman Marcus. And even though their dogs were becoming a nuisance, they didn't leave. They just stayed there not doing anything. I think she was trying to tell people about her Pig Bath business.

balding at 26

Yes, you read that correctly. I have had thin hair all of my life. This Thanksgiving I saw some pictures of me and noticed the top of my head looked a little thinner than normal:

I was nervous, but I was only 25, do I really need to worry about going bald? Apparently I do according to Ben, one of the second grade teachers sons who is in first grade. I was sitting on the carpet and he was telling me all about vampire bats as he sat in a chair behind me. He stopped mid screech (the vampire bat's noise of course) to say, "Ms. Ewing, I think you're losing your hair up here."

Thanks Ben. The honesty of children. Hearing this I knew it was time and that my denial was now over. After running at the gym I stopped by the pharmacy and asked someone what I needed to help me get my hair back. They recommended this:

There are several things that worry me about this. The first being the weird crystal on the front. The second is that they are drops and I have to drink it with water. Finally, on the back every claim they make as an asterisk next to it which if you looked at the bottom it says: "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration." Awesome, so I have something that may or may not help me.

At this point I guess I should be willing to try anything. Thanks a lot genetics for making me bald at 26. Maybe I should start looking for good white girl wig lines...I wonder if you can put these drops in beer?

fake fires

I woke up at midnight last night to one of my smoke detectors going off. Not "chirping" like everyone kept asking me and trying to tell me that's what was happening, but going off like there was a fire. It's also one that's connected to the wall with a wire, not one you can pop off and take the battery out. So I call my parents and wake them up to ask what the hell to do. Dad didn't know and wasn't being helpful so I basically hung up on him (5 minutes later of him not helping) and called 311. They told me I had to call 911, which I did.

I was scared they would show up in all their gear and chop my door down with an ax and be pissed I called them for nothing. So literally 3 minutes after hanging up with the fire dispatcher 4 HUGE firefighters show up. I was disappointed because a. they weren't cute, b. they were all over 40, and c. they weren't even in their gear, they were in street clothes and fire department jackets. So one guy goes and unplugs it and tells me I just need to have the maintenance people give me a new one, while another guy is videotaping my entire apartment, and the other 2 schmos are just standing there doing nothing. So the schmos and the guy who actually did something left, while the videotaping one continued walking around taping. Finally the helpful one walked back in and yelled "Eric, what the hell are you doing? Stop taping that cat and get out of there!"

The entire time I kept thinking about how Rebecca and Crissy almost burned down the blue house. The difference between our experiences were theirs was an actual emergency.

so many pockets

So I continue to buy things for my running mission. This weekend it was for more sports bras and running shorts. The sports bras had little pockets on the inside, and same with the shorts. I'm not quite sure why they are there. I mean, they're really little pockets. Maybe it's for little pieces of granola bars for when you get hungry? Or maybe it's so you have a place to put your lucky charm? I don't really know. So for now I am brainstorming ideas for what I can put in those teeny tiny pockets.

curling

In honor of the start of the Olympics, here are some pictures of myself and some RFL coworkers from 2006. We are curling. For real. It was pretty awesome.

I can tell you're jealous. And rightly so.

fatties and confusion

So I started my tv night with the first half of The Biggest Loser. While I watched I ate a burger with chips, and a bowl of ice cream.

Not that bowl of ice cream, I didn't take a picture of what I ate and I figured that would be a good visual. It also looks better than what I ate. Besides, eating all that dairy, and chocolate, etc., would make me throw up all over Luna. (I'm sure Crissy would have loved that to happen.) I tend to eat fattier foods while watching The Biggest Loser. I think it's because I know the fatties can't eat it, so it makes me happy that I can eat it. (Or at least my wonky version of that food.)

Promptly at 7:58 I turned it over to Lost. I seriously have no idea what the hell is going on with that show. I literally yelled out "whaaat?!" multiple times. So what's up with this alternate universe off the island? Why is creepers back delivering Claire's baby? Did they have that exact conversation when he took her way back when? So what happened to Claire, are we ever going to see her on the island again? When are we going to get the real story on Miles' talking to ghosts?

To top it all off, my effing DVR SKIPPED THE LAST 5 MINUTES! I paused it when I was finishing washing dishes, and then the second it hit 9:00 it skipped to stupid Christian Slater. No big deal, I was recording it. NOPE! My DVR also decided to DELETE the episode the second it turned 9:00. WHAT THE HELL?! I will either be switching my DVR out this weekend, or smashing it against the wall. I'm not sure which one will make me feel better.

first day of training

So today was my first official day of training. (I've run a little, but not enough to really say I started my training.) I even had my brand new running shoes to run in.

The RunTex people are really funny watching you walk and run in order to help you get the best shoes for the way you run. I wonder if the guy helping me has a foot fetish? I mean he looks at feet all day, he must.

harumph

So tonight I thought it would be fun to look up some names on urban dictionary, because what else was I going to do? Here is the very first definition for each name.

Rebecca

The name Rebecca origionated from the daughter of Goddess of Beauty! She wanted to bring one and only beauty to brighten the world and she decided to name her REBECCA, the Shining Star!

Ex: While the Goddess was looking in the sky with her Handsome Husband, she saw the name REBECCA Glowing in the SKY!

Crissy

the sexiest name for a girl. crissys are always fun, a little bit of good in them with a lot of wild. finest bitches around..i'm talking dimes.

Ex: "yo did you see crissy today? shes baaaangin!"

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At this point I'm excited to see what is in store for me and my name. They both had great definitions for their names, so mine must be even better!

Courtney

A guy's name which very often is perceived as a girl's name (as it usually is).

Ex: Shut your fucking face, Courtney.

Seriousy?....I mean seriously? The definitions that followed that just got even worse. Thanks mom and dad for not checking urban dictionary before naming me.

turkeys like austin

On my way to pick up my birthday present from Michael and Rebecca that finally made it to the correct city, (check out http://thekrautners.blogspot.com/ for the full redonk story of what happened) i noticed a big bird hanging outside the office. Not THE big bird, it was a bird that was big. On my way out I asked what it was, and I was correct in my assumption. There was a real life turkey hanging out walking around outside of the office! Apparently it came from the greenbelt, and the animal shelter wants nothing to do with it. Also turkeys live in the greenbelt? Everyone doesn't know what to do about it, so I guess it will walk around until Crissy comes to get it to kill and eat.

grammys 2010

I emailed Rebecca and Crissy all night since they weren't online to talk to. From that they said I should start a blog. (I think more because they both have blogs and felt badly I wasn't in on it.) They also said my first post should be of all those redonk emails. So here they are. For Rebecca and Crissy to reread since they are the only ones reading this blog. Enjoy reading them again ladies.

Email 1:

first of all lady gaga and elton john? i dont know why i even bother trying to figure her out.

secondly there is a new broadway musical based on a green day cd. ill give you a second to digest what i just wrote.

thirdly, jlo was presenting the cast and green day performing together and she was about to start crying....why? its not like she has anything to do with it. YIKES maybe she saw this girls acne and was sad she was going to be on tv.

Email 2:

beyonce just sang some alanis morisette while surrounded by guys dressed up in swat gear. i think she was afraid alanis was going to charge the stage and kick her ass.

pink is dressed as a slutty virgin mary for her song. excuse me. she is now wearing a nude leotard and what looks like strips of tape covering her boobs and vagina...shes now in some white fabric hanging from a people chandelier, spinning around. i dont understand any of the performances tonight. they dont make sense. (r)(r)(r) she just went down and got dipped in a thing of water and is spinning around shooting water everywhere. you know some people are PISSED they are getting wet. she should know better than to do that in a room full of rappers who love shooting people. also i cant wait to see who slips on water they dont catch when cleaning up. hopefully jlo will fall again

Email 3:

jamie foxx brought his sister on stage to shake her really fat ass. t payne was dressed as a white man. and slash came out to play guitar but played november rain...i dont know if slash understood what he was supposed to do...or any of the other people for that matter.

Email 4:

i hope everyone in the audience is about to put 3d glasses on...ill let you know.

the glasses i have from a christmas carol dont work. so my eyes are hurting looking at this. im bout to get in bed so this might be the last post. i know...its sad. but dont worry. if any other thoughts come into my head, ill make sure to email yall.

i bet you were wishing you were online with me. this would be way more fun that way. although i think ill be getting another post dedicated to me on i came to hate after all of this.

Email 5:

Ugh hate hate Quinten Tarantino. I think he thinks he's black. Also the censors take out a huge chunk to be careful. So far I've heard about 10 words in eminems performance and hes been on stage for awhile now.