5 more days...

In 5 days I will be running my second half marathon. I started running almost 2 years ago, and am so proud of myself for not only keeping up with it, but pushing myself to run another half marathon! It all started when I decided I needed to challenge myself and try something new, so I had set a goal to run a half marathon. I accomplished that goal last year, and it was an amazing experience! Afterwards I started thinking about what other kind of races I might want to run, not thinking I would actually run one that long again. Well I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, and I have been training since this summer. (Well, that's not entirely true. This summer was the worst. I thought I was going to die every time I ran even at 6 am because it was so freaking hot.)

In 5 days I will run my second half, and am aiming to beat my time. Based on my long runs the past few months, I am capable of running a 10:30-11:00 minute mile. Possibly even faster depending on how crazy I get at the start line. Now that I'm so close I am having a hard time not freaking out. I'm not freaking out that I won't finish, because I know I will. I'm not freaking out that I won't beat my time, because as long as I finish I don't really care. (Although let's be honest, I will be pissed if I don't run faster.) I am freaking out about my feet, and legs, and every little thing I'm feeling. My toe that I sprained awhile ago feels like it's possibly waiting quietly before springing back up and being annoying. My right knee is officially hating me and crackles all the time and is sore after my long runs. The side of my calf has a weird pain when I run that fades and then comes back without warning. I'm at the crazy obsessive phase where I am wearing tennis shoes to school for the rest of the week just so I don't make my feet extra sore. (I don't think I was this crazy before my first half. So why am I deciding now is the time to become crazy?)

Ugh. I need to drop everything at the starting line Sunday morning and just run. Run to accomplish a goal. Run to remind myself I can do anything no matter what my brain tells me. Run to remember lost friends. Run to feel alive. I will drop all of my worries, my craziness, my sadness, my anger, and I will run with joy. 5 more days.