where babies come from

In case you didn't know, and for my friends who will be teaching their little ones where babies come from, here's what you should tell them:

Kid 1: Look, the fairy is this book has the same name as me!

Me: Maybe the book is all about you! Are you a fairy?

Kid 2: I was a fairy once! That's how babies are made. You're a fairy on the ground, and the you evaporate into the clouds. And then you evaporate into your mommy's belly. 

In case you didn't know, now you know. You're welcome.

that's a dis

At recess I was talking to some of my old students when a current student came up to me and started pushing her bracelets on my arm.

Kid: You have a lot of meat on your body.

Me: I don't think that was a compliment. Is that a dis? Did you just call me fat?

Old Student: (cracking up) I think she just called you fat. You got dissed!

headaches and knights

This is how my day started:

Kid: Man we're crazy today. I bet we give you a lot of headaches.

And this is how it ended when I ran into one of my kids from last year:

Me: You look sad. Why are you sad?

Kid: I miss you.

Me: I miss you too!

Kid: Can I come back to your class? I want to come back to your class.

Me: You can ask your teacher if you get to the top of your ladder maybe you can come to my room for a break.

Kid: OK. (his TA walked out and they had to leave) I love you my princess!

Me: I love you my knight!

Best way to end my crazy day.

kid quotes are back!

It's been a month. And yes, I'm aware. I apologize because I'm sure you've been checking back every day hoping to see a new post. Well summer is gone and a new school year started. Boo. 

I was worried I wouldn't have a kid as quote worthy as the one I had last year, but don't worry! There is definitely a new kid in town ready to claim his title. As we were walking to lunch today this happened:

Me: Why do you always want to be last in line?

Kid: Because I'm special.

Me: What about me? I'm pretty special so I should be last.

Kid: Well we're both pretty special so we can both be last.

Me: So what makes you special?

Kid: Well, I'm a grown up kid.

Me: What does that mean?

Kid: It means I'm a kid that has kids.

Me: Wait, you mean like children?

Kid: Yeah.

Me: How many kids do you have?

Kid: I have 100 children. They all live in my army fort in my backyard.