"husbin" help

Towards the end of the year two of my girls started asking more questions about my dating life. No matter what is going on I always laugh and ask for their advice because they always seem so knowledgeable. One of the girls kept telling me I needed to marry a rich man even if I didn't like him. When I asked the other one how I can find a husband she immediately said, "Go on match.com. Duh Ms. Ewing!" She told me! These two kept asking me questions and giving me advice, so I told them since they knew everything they should write a book for me. The very next day one of the girls came in with this.

The arrow is pointing to an ad for match.com. Please note the two girls added in as bridesmaids at the bottom left. I sure look pretty!

First...

Second...

Next...

Finally...

Her mom emailed me and said she couldn't stop laughing at everything she had written and that she was very focused for most of the night working on it. I'm hoping she will continue to write books for me even though she's not going to be in my class next year.

For those of you that might need even more advice, look back at Claire's advice for me. (She's currently working on a fashion book for me. See below for a sneak peek. I feel I should put a disclaimer on here for Heather. She has not edited the book at all, and hadn't even looked at it until we both got a sneak peek. I can't wait for the entire thing!)

Good luck finding that husbin of yours ladies!

dating tips

Some of you may remember Claire's conversation with me about the different types of dates. Well not long after that Heather invited me over to dinner where Claire asked me, at the dinner table, if I had gone on any kissing dates. Before I could answer she looked at me and said, have you been on any lover dates? Richie, her dad, just about choked on his food while Ben was giggling with his hand over his mouth. I look at Heather who looks nervous and I can't stop laughing. 

I ask her what a lover date is, and she said it's a kissing date, except your're naked. Oh man. She did go on to say I shouldn't go on lover dates until I'm married. I told her she and Ben should write me a book with all of her dating tips. After a week of hard work (Heather said she was freaking out because she didn't think she would finish it in time, and because she forgot one of the dates.) I got the most amazing book of all time. Enjoy!

Even a table of contents! Very fancy.

My favorite is the things boys could do together. I love "walking around and checking out ladies."

I'm on it Claire.

Ben drew this picture to go with the lover date page.

I had to zoom in on tip number 2B. Please check out her spelling of boobs. Also Please note tip 3. Wait, really? That's something I need to worry about?

I was laughing so hard reading this! I immediately ran down and showed Sara, who teaches 3rd grade. I would have shown more people, but it was pretty late and most people had left school. I hope you enjoy the tips as much as I did! And feel free to use any of the tips, even though they are meant for me.

madame olisha knows all

Friday night was packed full of interesting happenings. Let's start with dinner with the Heleniak's. I got their family hooked on Harry Potter, and they wanted me to see their pictures from Disneyworld (Disneyland? whichever is in Florida) and their visit to the world of Harry Potter. At dinner Claire started asking me if I had gone on any dates lately. Before I could even answer she said, have you gone on any lover dates? I looked to Heather who looked nervous and mortified, and asked what lover dates were. She ran through the different types of dates there are, adding in different gender friend dates. Then she said, lover dates are kissing dates except you're naked. Oh man.

I start laughing hysterically and look at Heather who is officially mortified, and something else I couldn't put my finger on. I'm sure Heather was glad to hear that Claire said lover dates are only allowed when you're married, so I shouldn't be going on them. Poor Ben, I don't think he knew what he was getting into at dinner. He just looked on with wide eyes and giggled. Through my laughter I said they should give me dating advice with pictures and words. Heather emailed me that night and said they were already working on the cover for my dating advice book. Check back for their book once it's finished.

After my dinner with them I met Pat and Angie who were on their way to get their palms read. I of course drove as fast as I could to meet them at Madame Olisha's.

They were not accepting credit cards that night so we could only get one palm read which was $10. For a card reading you had to shell out $50! Once we were about to get ready I was so excited! Especially because I was hoping for something out of Pee Wee's Big Adventure when he stumbles upon a psychic. Crystal ball and everything. That is not quite what happened. She told us to sit down on the couch in the front of the building and grabbed Angie's hand. After about 20 seconds of information we were allowed to ask one question. It all happened so fast we had to regroup in Angie's car before going anywhere else. She said Angie was closed off and not very trusting and her career would change in 6-9 months, Pat was searching for something and has not found her soul mate, and then it was my turn. 

I don't know how much I believe in this stuff, but she was right on for me! She said I hadn't been sleeping well in the past 2 weeks (I've only had 1 or 2 good nights of sleep lately), I needed to stop living in the past and thinking negatively because I'm not a negative person (I have been thinking about different things from my past lately), and then I got to ask my one question. I asked a similar question like Pat and asked when I'd meet my soul mate. She said I would meet him in the next year or two. So get ready for a wedding in the next 1-2 years!

dating

I took Claire out for her birthday the other day, and we went to Deep Eddy. I had never been there before, and it's pretty cool. Definitely better for little kids or people going to swim laps. While we were sitting on the grass talking she was telling me about the different types of dates you can go on. (This coming after her asking me about my dating life and who was my last date.) According to this 11 year old there are 4 types of dates:

1. the day of the week dates
2. dancing dates
3. same gender dates (like the one we were on together. Sweet innocent Claire)
4. kissing dates

After telling me about kissing dates she said, "My mom and dad never go on kissing dates. I don't ever see them kiss...That's good because it's gross."