gross

I was at the doctors office a few days ago minding my own business when two ladies decided to strike up a conversation across the waiting room. Clearly I didn't record the conversation, but I did start making notes on my phone after awhile so I wouldn't forget the most important parts. Therefore, some of the conversation is totally fabricated to what I'm sure they said.

Pregnant Lady: Tell me about your birth story.

Not Anymore a Pregnant Lady: Oh, let me tell you how disgusting it was and totally freak you out. I know you're about to have a baby and all, but you should probably still hear this.

Pregnant Lady: Do tell! 

Not Anymore a Pregnant Lady: Blah, blah blah. And then they started doing the c-section and I could feel them cutting. So I sit up some and totally see my stomach coming out of my body. That's when I passed out.

Pregnant Lady: Please tell me more! This isn't terrifying at all!

Not Anymore a Pregnant Lady: Also they left the afterbirth in me. I ended up pooping it out, but I thought it was totally normal because I hadn't had a baby before. (I don't really know anything about giving birth, but I'm pretty sure she said she pooped out her afterbirth. I stopped listening for awhile because I was totally disgusted and terrified.)

Pregnant Lady: Things to look forward to!

Not Anymore a Pregnant Lady: I hope I don't have to wait much longer to see the doctor. I need to stop smoking marijuana, so I hope the doctor can give me my meds so I can stop...You look really tired. I can see it in your eyes.

Pregnant Lady: That's just what an about to pop pregnant lady wants to hear! Thanks!

Scariest waiting room ever. 

things i love

I'm stealing this idea from my friend Katie who has a blog and finally told me about it. (I don't know why she kept it a secret because it's funny. And when she gives the ok I will link it from my blog.) Anyways, here are things I love right now:

1. Being able to drink coffee on mornings where I don't think I can even muster enough energy to put on real clothes.

2. Seeing a movie in the middle (ok right after school) of the day. Sarah and I went to see The Help, finally, and it was awesome! It was awesome because I finally saw this movie, I went with someone instead of going by myself like I was going to do, and it was a fun thing to look forward to throughout the day. Even better, I got home early enough to still eat dinner and go to bed at 9:00 like an old lady.

3. Heather's crazy reaction to the possibility of a roach being near her. I had heard that Heather FREAKS out when she sees a roach. I mean screaming, running away and making her 7 year old students deal with it. Unfortunately I hadn't ever experienced this in person...until today! Her sink has been leaking in her classroom so she was cleaning out underneath it so our awesome custodian wouldn't have to deal with it when he came to fix it. She stood up to throw something away and was about to get back under there for one last thing when I saw a huge roach. I stopped Heather and said the only thing I could think of. "Heather, look right at me." She looked confused and almost started laughing. I said it again and without even seeing anything, she yelled "IS IT A ROACH? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" She screamed louder than I had ever heard, and literally ran towards with her arms up in the air. She seriously screamed as if someone was literally sawing her arms and legs off. I gave her some of my laminating to cut and told her to leave the room. As I physically pushed her out of her room one of my old students was standing in the door of the room across the hall with a look of pure panic, and curiosity. That's how loud she was. Kids across the hall could her her through 2 closed doors. It was an amazing sight to behold.

4. Pinterest! Really, I don't know what to say except it is awesome. It also gave me tons of awesome things to do and try over the summer. Last night I made pulled pork tacos from a recipe I saw on there. It's a magical website. I don't know what I would do without it!

5. I just signed up for my second half marathon! I will be doing the 3M Half in Austin on January 29th. I never thought I would do one, let alone 2 half marathons! Let the training begin!

Things I don't love right now:

1. Having the crazy jitters after drinking my coffee since my body isn't used to so much caffeine. (It probably didn't help that I basically chugged it and drank it in less than an hour. No big deal for normal people, but this was only the 4th cup of coffee I've had in over 3 years. My body was hating me. Or teaching me a lesson. Who knows.) For real. I couldn't write at one point because my hand was shaking so badly. Totally worth it though because I didn't fall asleep while I was teaching.

2. Karma. I walked into my "living room" after getting in my pajamas and saw a huge daddy roach on the ceiling. Killing it was a lot of fun with my own, controlled, screaming.

3. I don't have enough time to be on Pinterest anymore because school started back up. Boo!

4. Half marathon training begins! Having to run 8-10 miles on the weekend will be rough. Waking up crazy early on a weekend during the school year? Sucks. Doing this in the freezing cold (or, Austin's freezing cold weather) will be tough. But I can't complain, it has been ridiculously hot here this summer, so running in weather where I won't be sweating before I even start is nice.

So those are some things I am loving and hating right now. Enjoy!

gross

I'm sure if I haven't said it yet on this blog, I've said it to you in person that kids are gross. Mostly because they never wash their hands, EVER. We even have signs on the bathroom doors that they have to look at on their way out reminding them to wash their hands. Because I know my kids are gross, I can't even imagine the rest of the kids in the school. As a teacher I have a pretty awesome immune system. I rarely get sick minus my yearly cold or two. 

However, horror struck me as I got...pink eye! I have never had pink eye before in my life, so the Monday it started itching and getting red and goopy I went and asked Heather what was wrong with me since she was a mom and she should know. 

Super duper pink before going to bed. Gross.

Well needless to say I couldn't go to school the next day when I woke up and was only able to open one eye. I literally had to pry my eye open in order to see out of it.

It's opened and cleaned. This was as wide as I could open it. I tried really hard and this was the best I could do. It hurt trying to open it that wide too.

Swollen, pink, gross.

I went to the doctor and he gave me medicine for my eye. I was paranoid because I didn't want to get it in the other eye, or infect anyone else. Of course he also said it looked like my other eye was already infected so I should start putting the medicine in both eyes. Awesome. Both of my eyes hurt like hell all day. They itched, but when I itched them (and then of course immediately washed my hands afterwards) it hurt even worse than before! 

He said once I started the medicine I was OK to go back to school and wouldn't give it to anyone else. Last thing I needed was a class full of pink eye and me getting it again before I went to Chicago. I was totally fine and not contagious anymore once I left for Chicago, but my doctor said I had to go the full 5 days of putting medicine on to keep me un-contagious (is that even a word?) and said I was fine to go to Chicago and see my new cute nephew without a problem.

Of course Rebecca saw my eyes had some stuff on it (the liquid medicine had gooped up on my eyelashes...oops) and when she asked what was wrong I said my eyes were irritated and my doctor just told me to put it on. Of course she didn't believe me and freaked out and asked if I had pink eye while she literally scooted away from me. I lied, not very convincingly and luckily she dropped it. Even though my doctor said I was good and clear, I didn't want to tell Rebecca because I knew she would freak out the entire time  I was there.

I am pink eye free, and keeping my medicine on hand in case another gross kid gives it to me. The joys of being a teacher.